This blog was begun on December 19, 2019, and finished December 31. In early October, you couldn’t have told me that it could be like this. You couldn’t have told me that there was another realm of suffering: that past holding my lifeless stillborn granddaughter, past all the other suffering my little family has endured, … Continue reading The Grocery-Store Spectacle: Grieving my Father’s Death by Suicide
The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, on my last day of being 52 years old, I went to both Kroger and Smallmart– because even before the pandemic supply chain issues, in my small town, neither store ever had everything you needed. (I told shoppers in the dairy section yesterday my new joke: Where is the buttermilk? Not … Continue reading Finally, Sunshine
December 2, 2018 Last night, I called my younger daughter, who is 1,001 miles away at college. She said that she was in the common room with her suitemates, and they were bonding, and I was glad because I think, in general, common rooms should be used more than they are. Somehow, they got to … Continue reading The Land of Before: The Thirtieth Year of Marriage
December 2021 My only C in college was in music appreciation (unless I also made a C in canoeing, which is, of course, entirely likely). I remember sitting in the hall before exams, index cards and highlighter in hand, trying to teach myself musical terms. It was impossible. Nevertheless, I love music. My favorite Pandora … Continue reading You Are Allowed To Try (for Twelve Years, If Need Be)
The views expressed in this blog are, of course, my own and should be taken as such. My grandmother is with me in my daily life. On the days when I do not want to do good–offer the ride, buy the meal, wave someone on at the four-way stop–I can hear her gentle voice, “Thereby … Continue reading Unashamed–Amid the Beams (Rejoicing in the Babies)
Written on Friday One of the smartest things I did as a teenager was to build relationships with the parents of all of my friends. If I was at your house and you were in the shower, I wasn’t in your room listening to Billy Joel. I was in the kitchen bugging your mom. If … Continue reading Dirty Dishes: The Nine-Minute Principle
A year ago today, on a Wednesday morning, my father took his own life. And everyone was shocked and had questions. One of the most pressing: when I last saw him. The answer to that was the previous Friday. So, within the week. It was a normal visit. We sat on the overstuffed sofas in … Continue reading Let’s Stop Layering Relationships: Thoughts on My Father’s Death by Suicide
I have been praying for weeks for a dear friend, one of the touchstones of my life. She is ill and weak. And I am weak in ways I do not wish to be. We are worn down by this pandemic, by the isolation, by the loss of all our props and distractions, all our … Continue reading Words in a Room
When I was little and it was naptime, my desperate mother taught me to feign compliance in order to trick my hyperactive younger brother into lying down as well. I’d go into the bedroom beside his and play silently until he nodded off and Mama sprang me. Often, I just peacefully counted the daisies on … Continue reading I’m a Writer, Finally
Six weeks ago, I joked with a friend that I wanted to write a blog on 25 ways to survive a bad day. We agreed that it was “too morbid” for South Georgia–small towns being what they are, no one should ever admit that, sometimes, simply enduring is difficult. Now, of course, with my father’s … Continue reading 25 Things I Do To Survive Really Bad Days
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